I had a visit from my dad last night. The weird thing about that is – he passed away eight years ago this month. So, our visits now are confined to those mysterious occurrences that we call Dreams.
There he was in my dream, handsome and tall and I even heard that familiar deep voice that would have been so great on radio, but it was ok that it never was. He told me he couldn’t stay long, but he had something to tell me.
I knew that he had passed away in the dream. So, I asked him before he left would he tell me what being dead was like. And he said…
He said – “I didn’t come to talk about that honey” (sometimes he called me honey – I liked that ). ” I came to remind you what it’s like to be alive. And, then he told me that to be alive meant really finding the joy in everything. It meant living with passion – not going through the motions. He said that if you are eating an ice cream cone – don’t feel guilty – ENJOY THE HELL OUT OF IT. Savor each luscious spoonful – lick the bowl if you want. And, when it’s gone – be thankful for what you just had.
Don’t pussyfoot through life like you’re walking around broken glass – Run, jump, skip – let the wind blow through your hair and dance in the rain. Awake each day with a fierce passion to enjoy every precious second. When you laugh – laugh from deep in your belly – let it all out. And – laugh often, “You can’t break your funny bone!!!” (True)
And, remember what I told you when you were just a teenager – Be true to yourself. Don’t fret about what others think of you, don’t let self-doubt take a hold of your heart and keep you from living. You are beautiful just the way you are – remember that.
“And, honey, don’t forget LOVE. Don’t shut the door on LOVE. Love opens your heart and fills you up like nothing else on the planet. If you close your heart to love – you slam the door shut to your soul – and that makes for a hollow, empty life.” Yes, the more open you have your heart – the more chances are you may get hurt. But, the pain of not loving is SO MUCH GREATER.
I was sitting next to him when he was talking and I could see his skin, smell him, feel his warmth.
And, then I woke up – and I was alone and felt tears running down my face.
Thanks, Dad. – for the visit – I miss you.
And, I heard what you said and I promise you that I’ll take your advice – You always did seem to know the right thing to say.
Your loving daughter always,