Nice guys don’t finish last

b21dario163 Were pirates “nice guys”? Who knows? Some of them may have been nice guys who made a bad career choice.

I do know this – that nice guys finish last is a saying that should be made to walk the plank and disappear out of the ocean or stream of our consciousness. Negative sayings like this are poison to any mind that is trying to think positive.

It seems like a little thing, like I’m nitpicking. But I’m not. I never pick nits – I don’t even know where to find a nit. But I digress.

I dislike sayings like this because words are very powerful, especially when they are in the form of thoughts. A saying like this because it’s so common to our society can foster negative beliefs to form about being nice. I know that I’ve done nice things for people only to have the go unnoticed or in some cases – it’s been used against me.

And what happened? Being nice became anchored to a negative emotion for me. The saying nice guys finish last became more of a belief that I held to be true rather than just a random statement. So, I held back a bit on my niceness, not intentionally, but that’s what happened.

And then, because I am a nice person who wasn’t acting as nice as I should have, I felt guilty. Again, not consciously or intentionally, but in my subconscious I knew I was robbing my soul by not being as nice as I should to family, friends and strangers. I was robbing my soul of happiness because of a fear that I would be hurt or ignored again. It was a vicious circle of pain – until I realized what was happening and put a stop to it.

I’m not saying I was a raving bitch, but I certainly wasn’t being as nice as I could have been to those around me. And, when I realized it stemmed from fear of rejection – that’s when I was able to turn it around. I just told myself that it didn’t really matter what other people thought of me. That I knew I was a nice person and I believed that deep inside – where it really mattered.

This was a short post – but it took me a long time to get past the hurt. In fact, some days it’s a conscious effort on my part – the hurt never goes away – it’s just how I deal with it that’s changed.

And, that’s the way it is with every challenge in life. It’s not the challenge that will keep you down – it’s how you deal with it. I know that so many people say that – but, that’s because it’s true.

If you want to change your outcomes you have to change your thoughts. Choose the lemon or the lemonade – it’s your choice.

Twitter – Thanks for the new friends

twitter_symbol I am in love with Twitter, I admit it.  It was one of those loves that sneak up on you.  You know how when you first met someone you fell in love with you were like – not impressed.  But, then, they did things that made you like them more and more until before you knew it – you were madly in love.  That’s how Twitter and I became an “item”.  But, this post is about mindset and marketing from one of my new Twitter friends – The Daily Blonde.  The first lesson I learned from her is that she’s real.  What she writes is who she is – and it’s very entertaining to boot.  So, when you’re thinking of marketing your product – always be yourself.  Sure, some people won’t like you – but who cares?  The ones who stick around will fall in love with you.   And that’s what’s important.  Besides it’s so much easier to be yourself than to imitate other people.  If we want those other people – we’ll go see them.  That’s why you’re here – because you’re different.  

But, back to Blondie.  So, we were on Twitter this past Sunday and she made a Tweet about her blog.  I was curious and clicked her tinyurl and read the whole post.  She answered Tweets that people had sent her in her funny, snarky way – I laughed out loud.  And, it’s tough to make me laugh, I’m a tough crowd.  Not because I’m bitchy – because I do stand up – so I’ve been around funny a lot and get sort of immune to it.  

And, from a marketing standpoint – take note – inviting questions and then answering them on your blog is a marketing tip.  Great way to get content without having to pull it all out of your own grey matter.

So, take a trip over to The Daily Blonde.

And, if you’re not on Twitter – what are you waiting for?  You can follow me there at

And, by the way, now I’m challenged to come up with a cute alias like The Daily Blonde.  I guess The Daily Brunette wouldn’t be an option…

Get with the program

open door I had a visit from my dad last night.  The weird thing about that is  – he passed away eight years ago this month.  So, our visits now are confined to those mysterious occurrences that we call Dreams.  

 There he was in my dream, handsome and tall and I even heard that familiar deep voice that would have been so great on radio, but it was ok that it never was.  He told me he couldn’t stay long, but he had something to tell me.  

 I knew that he had passed away in the dream.  So, I asked him before he left would he tell me what being dead was like.  And he said…


He said – “I didn’t come to talk about that honey” (sometimes he called me honey – I liked that ).  ” I came to remind you what it’s like to be alive.  And, then he told me that to be alive meant really finding the joy in everything.  It meant living with passion – not going through the motions.  He said that if you are eating an ice cream cone – don’t feel guilty – ENJOY THE HELL OUT OF IT.  Savor each luscious spoonful – lick the bowl if you want.  And, when it’s gone – be thankful for what you just had.   

Don’t pussyfoot through life like you’re walking around broken glass – Run, jump, skip – let the wind blow through your hair and dance in the rain.  Awake each day with a fierce passion to enjoy every precious second.  When you laugh – laugh from deep in your belly – let it all out.  And – laugh often, “You can’t break your funny bone!!!”   (True)

And, remember what I told you when you were just a teenager – Be true to yourself.  Don’t fret about what others think of you, don’t let self-doubt take a hold of your heart and keep you from living.  You are beautiful just the way you are – remember that.

“And, honey, don’t forget LOVE.  Don’t shut the door on LOVE.  Love opens your heart and fills you up like nothing else on the planet.  If you close your heart to love – you slam the door shut to your soul – and that makes for a hollow, empty life.”  Yes, the more open you have your heart – the more chances are you may get hurt.  But, the pain of not loving is SO MUCH GREATER.

I was sitting next to him when he was talking and I could see his skin, smell him, feel his warmth.

And, then I woke up – and I was alone and felt tears running down my face.

Thanks, Dad. – for the visit – I miss you.

And, I heard what you said and I promise you that I’ll take your advice – You always did seem to know the right thing to say. 

Your loving daughter always,

Lee Ann

Money, money, money


Money and I have had an on/off relationship for years now.  There have been times when my bank account was a welcome home for it and other times when, well, the money I had didn’t want to invite any more friends to the party.


I’ve gone over and over this.  Why did I let my bank account or income get to a certain amount and then shut the door or spend so that no more comes in?  First, I know I’m not alone with this.  There are scads of experts and prosperity coaches who tell us that we have money comfort zones and we don’t like to go too far from them.

And it all is based on untruths we tell ourselves.  For example, I thought at one time that if I made more money than my friends that they wouldn’t accept me anymore. Well, this belief actually turned out to be partly true, which at first annoyed me.  Then after deeper reflection, I realized that they weren’t the best friends for me in the first place.  So, we parted ways and I became comfortable with my income.

Then, I started subconsciously doubting myself.  I felt that I wasn’t worthy of the money and spent it back to my comfort level.

On deeper reflection, I realized that I didn’t want to make more money because that would bring added responsibilities, and I didn’t feel ready for more responsibility in my life.  Now, I realize that was total crap.  My weirdness about having money was nothing more than a struggle with self-doubt and self-worth that I’ve had for years.

When will it change?

When I change it.  And, there’s no better place than here and now to state that I am worth every dollar that I desire.  Whatever I have done in the past with money  is released and doesn’t exist anywhere except between my ears.  

There.  I’ve said it.  And, not in a boastful or egotistical way.  I merely want to be publicly accountable to myself to keep my new attitude about my self-worth healthy.

And, I don’t desire money to feed my ego.  I realize that money is just a mirror to myself of how I’m doing on my spiritual journey.  

If you’re experiencing issues around money – if there’s never as much as you would like. I suggest you hire a coach to explore that – you’re worth as much as you would like – and then some.

You need protection from negative thoughts

protection from negative thoughts

Sometimes you just gotta have protection.

I mean for this post to be as blunt as I can be, so I chose condoms as a visual.

You need protection from negative thoughts.  Why?

Because negative thoughts, thoughts of why you can’t do things, why you’re not good enough – don’t drive your life forward they hold it back.

Negative thoughts of envy, greed, jealousy, hate – they don’t drive you forward they hold you back.

How’s this for a thought?  Your thoughts control your actions, and it’s the actions you take that determine the results you get and your results = the life you are living now.  That’s how important thoughts are.  Your thoughts control the destiny of your life.  Did you get that?  Your freakin’ destiny is controlled by your thoughts.

Are you in the relationship you want?

Do you have the money you want?

Are you in the shape you want to be in?

Does your life have fulfillment and meaning?

I’m assuming if you’re reading my blog then you answered no to at least one of those questions.

You need protection – you need to put a condom on those negative thoughts.

Try this for 31 days.  Everytime you think a negative thought, every time – I would like you to picture a condom.  Don’t judge yourself for thinking a negative thought – just catch it in a condom.  Now replace that negative thought with a thought that will be positive.  Any positive thought will do.   The first day you do this – you’ll be amazed at how many condoms you have to whip out.  By the end of 31 days you’ll find that you’ve put yourself in the habit of thinking positive thoughts.

I do this every day.  I’m human so I need to condomize those negative thoughts that creep in – so do you.  But, I do it far less often now.

Start today and have fun with this.  You can change the direction of your life –

one thought at a time.

Pulling back the curtain





Why should you trust what I say about motivation, inspiration, Law of Attraction?  I agree that you shouldn’t trust me unless I share why I’m qualified to talk about this stuff.  

That’s why I’m pulling back the curtain.  Come back with me to when I was 16 years old.   Remember when you were 15?  Life was good right?  There were after school parties, weekend parties, you got your drivers license and the world was fresh, fun and exciting.  

That was your reality – it wasn’t mine.  My parents had recently divorced and I had an emotional meltdown and became agoraphobic.  That big word means that I was scared to leave my house – terrified.  I would have a panic attack within ten minutes of going to school.  I was riddled with self-doubt and constant fear.  The worst thing was that I didn’t understand where the fear was coming from, so it seemed like I couldn’t ever move past it.  I felt hopeless.  At 16!!  

Just 3 short years later, not only was I able to leave my home – but I was on a plane headed to Israel – by myself!

What happened?

I changed what I was focusing on.  When I was trapped in my house, afraid I was going to have a panic attack – then would go to school – so focused on not having a panic attack – what happened?  I had a panic attack.  Of course, because what you focus on expands.

So, I had to learn to think that I was going to go to school and have a great day.   I had to focus on the fact that I had lived for 15 years without having panic attacks – so I had the ability to not have panic attacks.  I focused on my past experience of being in school and enjoying the experience.  And, then I had to do it.  I had to go to school, not think about panic attacks and it was a process.  I would go to school – be able to stay for one hour, then I might get scared and have to leave.  But, the next day, I would do it again – and be able to stay a bit longer.  It wasn’t long before I had build up enough confidence that I could go to school and not have to try to consciously think positive – it just came naturally.

And, what happened to the agoraphobia, what happened to those panic attacks?  When I taught myself that they had no power over me – they just vanished.   And, at the age of 19 I was boarding a plane – traveling alone – to spend six weeks in Israel.

I struggled with sharing this, but I realize that I’m not the only person on the planet who suffered from panic attacks.  And, if my sharing that can help just one person get over their panic attacks – it’s worth any discomfort I may feel.

BTW, I still feel fear – that’s natural.  It’s how I deal with it that’s very different.  

Remember that you can overcome any fear or panic – if I can do it – so can you.