I do know this – that nice guys finish last is a saying that should be made to walk the plank and disappear out of the ocean or stream of our consciousness. Negative sayings like this are poison to any mind that is trying to think positive.
It seems like a little thing, like I’m nitpicking. But I’m not. I never pick nits – I don’t even know where to find a nit. But I digress.
I dislike sayings like this because words are very powerful, especially when they are in the form of thoughts. A saying like this because it’s so common to our society can foster negative beliefs to form about being nice. I know that I’ve done nice things for people only to have the go unnoticed or in some cases – it’s been used against me.
And what happened? Being nice became anchored to a negative emotion for me. The saying nice guys finish last became more of a belief that I held to be true rather than just a random statement. So, I held back a bit on my niceness, not intentionally, but that’s what happened.
And then, because I am a nice person who wasn’t acting as nice as I should have, I felt guilty. Again, not consciously or intentionally, but in my subconscious I knew I was robbing my soul by not being as nice as I should to family, friends and strangers. I was robbing my soul of happiness because of a fear that I would be hurt or ignored again. It was a vicious circle of pain – until I realized what was happening and put a stop to it.
I’m not saying I was a raving bitch, but I certainly wasn’t being as nice as I could have been to those around me. And, when I realized it stemmed from fear of rejection – that’s when I was able to turn it around. I just told myself that it didn’t really matter what other people thought of me. That I knew I was a nice person and I believed that deep inside – where it really mattered.
This was a short post – but it took me a long time to get past the hurt. In fact, some days it’s a conscious effort on my part – the hurt never goes away – it’s just how I deal with it that’s changed.
And, that’s the way it is with every challenge in life. It’s not the challenge that will keep you down – it’s how you deal with it. I know that so many people say that – but, that’s because it’s true.
If you want to change your outcomes you have to change your thoughts. Choose the lemon or the lemonade – it’s your choice.