I’ve been blogging for about 4 months now. Basically just letting off steam. And that was ok, but I was feeling like I wasn’t really expressing myself.
I’m done with that.
It’s time to let loose and write the way I was meant to. I’m inspired by the movie Seabiscuit. He was a little horse who didn’t realize that he wasn’t physically supposed to win races against bigger, supposedly better horses. His owners didn’t understand him, because he didn’t act like a champion. He slept and ate too much, he was too complacent. so, they tried to make him run the way they thought he should.
It didn’t work.
It screwed him up so badly – he forgot how to run. He forgot how to be the horse he was capable of.
Until – he was found by people who believed in him. Who saw that inside beat the heart of a champion even if it was covered by the body of a horse who didn’t act like the other race horses.
And, Seabiscuit responded. He remembered his true horseness. He remembered how to run. And, most importantly, he remembered how to win. Seabiscuit became not just a horse who won races, but a symbol for everyone who had gotten beaten up by life, everyone who had lost a few races, everyone who had lost hope.
Great line in the movie – “You don’t throw away a life, just because it’s been beaten up a bit.”
Well, who hasn’t been beaten up a bit? Who besides me has forgotten what it was like to be your true self? How many of us have lost a few races, have been misunderstood? Am I alone in feeling like I was just repeating the same bad tape over and over again – not living or acting the way I was born to? Just a year and a half ago I had a business fall apart. I had to declare bankruptcy and just when it looked like my bankruptcy would go through I got notice that I was being sued not only to prevent my bankruptcy from going through but for serious charges and spent a year and a half in the process of a court case.
Last month I both won and lost that court case. My bankruptcy was not discharged, so it wasn’t allowed to go through and everyone who was suing me for money before was allowed to go after me again. But, I was exonerated of the other charges against me. Freedom came with a price – I was exposed again to have my creditors from my bankrupt business come after me. Sheesh.
I had gotten so caught up with the negativity and the fear of being sued that I forgot who I was and what I was made of. That stops now. There is still fear, but I’m going to work past it. I’m going to keep moving forward, furlong by furlong. I’m going to do whatever it takes to cross the finish line ahead of the pack. Even if there are people ahead of me, bigger than me in the field – I don’t care. I’m not going to be looking behind, I’m going only to be looking ahead. To feel the excitement and the thrill of pushing past mile marker after mile marker. To enjoy the race, not just the win. To feel connected to the Source of all through creation, through what I will be creating.
If you want to come along on the journey – come on. I’ve entered the starting gate – and the doors are about to open. There is a sense of excitement, anything can happen.
But, nothing will happen, you can’t win, hell – you can’t even be in the race – unless you join me on the field. Ready, set….